internal family systems (ifs)
ifs (internal family systems)
Using IFS we will get to know your various internal parts, with a specific focus on your “Saboteur” parts. We will:
Target the specific issues you want resolved
Get to know your inner Self as the agent of transformation
Access your hidden vulnerable parts for deep emotional healing
Transform stuck parts of yourself into inner resources of strength, love and freedom
The Pixar movie Inside Out is an excellent example of how different parts work. The lead character is a young girl called Riley, The movie shows how her different parts and emotions such as joy, anger, fear, sadness and disgust compete with each other to get her attention. Each part wants to be in charge. Riley gradually becomes more Self-led by learning how to listen to and respect all her different parts.
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IFS was developed by Psychologist Richard Schwartz, PhD in the 1980s. It provides a step-by-step approach to resolving internal conflict and creating inner wholeness. It is extremely helpful in working with your “Saboteur” parts (e.g., Procrastinator, Perfectionist, Restless, etc.) that keep you STUCK.
The basis of the IFS Model is that the mind is naturally made up of “parts.” So for example, if you’re considering whether or not to go to a party, you might have:
a part that’s excited about seeing your friends
another that’s worried about what to wear
one that would rather stay home and watch TV or read
and another that feels guilty about leaving the kids with a babysitter
In IFS everyone also has a ‘Self,’ in addition to parts. Self is the natural leader of the whole system, and is a place of:
calm, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, clarity, connectedness, & creativity, as well as
playfulness, patience, presence, perspective, & perseverance
The goal of IFS is to help you access Self so that you can heal wounded parts, bring them into balance and have a harmonious system.
Unfortunately, most of us are not parented in ways that allow the Self to emerge as the leader of our system. This results in our parts becoming “burdened” (extreme ideas or feelings, such as shame or “I am not worthy”). Some are forced into exile and others into a protective stance.
Protectors take on ways of behaving such as people-pleasing, self-criticism, dissociating, perfectionism, avoiding, rebelling, hyper-vigilance, depression or addictions in an effort to keep out the painful feelings carried by young, exiled parts. Protectors jostle for influence in the system, resulting in internal tensions, and an internal system with little or no balance and harmony.
IFS uses the metaphor of an orchestra in which the conductor, Self, should be leading all parts to work together in positive ways to play beautiful music. However, Protectors start blasting their instruments, take over and lock the conductor under the stage. This results in cacophonous, loud, out of sync music being played and life problems.
So in IFS we connect to Self-energy, come into gentle contact with protective and exiled parts, then gradually release them from their burdens, and then the system comes more into balance.
Below are 2 short introDUCTORY videos to IFS
polyvagal ifs
Ruth Culver has combined both Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges’ “map” of the Nervous System) and IFS in her Survive Thrive Spiral in an effort to see how parts react with our nervous system.
The ultimate goal of Internal Family Systems Therapy is Self-Leadership. When you live in survivor mode, you are organized to protect yourself from emotional pain. You use proven strategies, either shutting down and collapsing or speeding up, keeping busy to distract. Healing brings more Self-Energy, more connection, resilience and joy.
Polyvagal Theory is a way to understand how human beings are wired to connect with each other. It explains how connection helps you to survive, and what happens to your nervous system when you feel unsafe and move towards disconnection. Having the ability to regulate by yourself and with others allows more flow and ease in your life. It allows you to move from survival to thriving and flourishing.